Nowhere Band News

Merry/Happy Christmas/Holidays/Whatever from the Awesome Boys. Whatever you’re celebrating, enjoy it. or just enjoy not celebrating, if that’s yer thing.

Me, I’m off to a retirement community for a while. Strip’ll resume in January, after I win some money hustling shuffleboard. There’ll probably be a post or two here on the blog during the downtime.

Wherein we finally get around to dispensing some practical how-to advice.

The list is the result of years of observation and practice and what-have-you. I can’t say I’ve done everything in the Jon Maxwell Method, but, then, I can’t say I’m all that great a guitarist, either.

One more December strip coming, probably by the 21st, and then the Holiday holidays begin.

After being single for too long, Aaron decides to switch tactics. Would it work? I’m guessing not, but hey, like Kirk’s cheating on the Kobayashi Maru test, it’d have the virtue of never having been tried before. That’s something, at least.

Like I said on the front page, my schedule’s about to enter a couple of more weird patches (the bright: after Christmas, things should be pretty mellow for quite a while). There’ll be two more strips in December, you can take that to the bank. But the timing of those two, well, who knows?

Over Thanksgiving Weekend, I went back and opened some of the old PhotoShop docs for the stretch of strips where I was struggling with a new computer/scanner combo (roughly #9-24, it’s a long stretch), to see if I could clean them up. It’ll be ough to do, because I wasn’t very smart about how I structured things. But god knows I want to, along with maybe trying to reformat all of them for a possible print collection…

Oh, and one more time: GO CHECK OUT DIRTIEST DUDES!

Ever have a project that you’ve been working on for a long-ass time that suddenly, out of nowhere, bursts into completion? Because that’s what happened with the new Derailleur album. We did the recording a loooong time ago (heck, i took some pictures and video at one of the last sessions, in April) and then it was just a matter of waiting for the mixdown and for some other dust to settle. I always knew it was coming, but it always seemed like it’d be a while.

But, suddenly, BAM. A new fucking Derailleur album! Free for download! And an awesome one, at that. As proud as I am of the Bond EP- and that’s pretty proud– Dirtiest Dudes is my favorite thing we’ve done. Lots of good rocking, some good rolling, and one song where I used an exercise ball as auxiallary percussion. If that’s not rock, what is Read more

It’s not easy to haul your ass into work the day after a late show. I actually feel like I should have little pain-bubbles coming out of my head right now, but it’s because of a cold, not because I was out rocking last night.

I seem to be the only person in the continent who likes the Jack White/Alicia Keys theme song to Quantum of Solace.  I don’t think it’s one of the tip-top great Bond themes, but it’s way above average. Here’s my sort-of-orderly ranking of the Bond themes, with the caveat that I haven’t heard most of the Brosnan-era ones in like a decade:

THE GREATS

“Live and Let Die,” Wings.  To be honest, I like this better than most of the McCartney-sung Beatles songs.  Cranking it on the car stereo makes my Kia feel like an Aston Martin.

“Goldfinger,” Shirley Bassey. Rules because of the combination of the over-the-top horns and Bassey’s belting-it-out-for-all-she’s-worth delivery.  The lyrics are kind of hilarious in that they seem to be about a different movie, but hey, that seems to be part of the game.

“The James Bond Theme,” John Barry. You know, the usual horns-and-electric guitar combo. This one actually works a lot better as standalone music than I thought it would; it moves through a bunch of distinct segments (which often get chopped up and used as background music in Bond movies), including this crazy free-jazz chunk that I had no idea was hiding in there.

THE REALLY, REALLY GOODS

“Nobody Does It Better,” Carly Simon. I hate Carly Simon, but I love this song. I also usually hate string arrangements like the ones used here, but they really make the song.

“Another Way to Die,” Jack White and Alicia Keys. So yeah, everybody hates it. I’ve noticed that when people explain why they don’t like it, it’s usually that they don’t think there’s enough Alicia Keys. I don’t know a damned thing about Alicia Keys, so that’s not a problem for me. I run hot and cold on Jack White overall; the stuff of his that I like usually involves simple, intensely rocking guitar parts arranged with a lot of space around them. And that’s pretty much what this tune is, so there you go.

“You Only Live Twice,” Nancy Sinatra. I love the curlicued line that the strings and weirdly-toned guitar trade back and forth. I also really like Nancy Sinatra’s voice. In fact, I had this weird realization a while ago that I’m an all-around Nancy Sinatra fan. I never would’ve expected that…

“A View to a Kill,” Duran Duran. Borderline; could also have been a high OK. But it rocks reasonably well, and hey, it pissed off Pat Robertson.

OK, NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF

“Thunderball,” Tom Jones.

“For Your Eyes Only,” Sheena Easton. They were pretty clearly trying to catch the “Nobody Does It Better” magic again, but their reach exceeded their grasp, or however that goes.

“GoldenEye,” Tina Turner. Not that great a song, but not bad. It gets an unfair boost because it played over what I think was the last great Bond title sequence, wherein a bunch of hot chicks with sledgehammers knocked down statues of Lenin.

FUCK THESE

“All Time High,” Rita Coolidge. What, you don’t remember this one? This would be the theme to Octopussy. Shitty song (running over a shitty title sequence; it looks like someone ignoring a naked woman to play laser-pointer with their cat), shitty movie.

“You Know My Name,” Chris Cornell. Everything else about Casino Royale was great, but the theme song and title sequence were all kinds of ass.

“The Living Daylights,” A-ha. The most infamously bad one.

DIDN’T LEAVE MUCH IMPRESSION, OR JUST DON’T REMEMBER

“We Have All the Time in the World,” Louis Armstrong. Really? Louis Armstrong?!? I don’t remember that at all.  I’m going to need to go back and watch On Her Majesty’s Secret Service again.

“Diamonds Are Forever,” “Moonraker,” Shirley Bassey. Huh. I forgot she did “Moonraker, too.” For my money, “Goldfinger” casts too tall a shadow for the rest of Bassey’s songs to escape.

“The Man with the Golden Gun,” Lulu. Sure, whatever.

“License to Kill,” Gladys Knight. Sure, whatever.

“Tomorrow Never Dies,” Sheryl Crow; “The World Is Not Enough,” Garbage; “Die Another Day,” Madonna. No clear memory of any of these; I don’t think too much about the Brosnan era, anyway. I do think it’s safe to guess I’d hate the Madonna song if I gave it another listen.

The Boys are onstage. In the thick of it. In the soup. In flagrante delicto. Whatever. That van’s a-rocking, why don’t you go a-knockin?

So, when I was coming up with lyrics for Awesome Boys songs for this one, I couldn’t help but sneak in a snippet of Derailleur lyrics written by Mark Kalar, because they’re hilarious. The difference between Mark and the Awesome Boys is that he was trying to be funny, while it’s a pretty safe bet that Aaron (if he weren’t, you know, fictional) would insist to the bitter end that he was dead serious with every line.

1. If you’re a Facebook member, a Nowhere Band page exists over there. Go on over and pledge your fandom, if only to make me feel better…

2. Also, if you’re inclined, I’d love to hear any reader suggestions you might have. What’s good, what sucks, and so on. Should I ditch the suggested soundtrack? Is it time for a new title template? Should Aaron quit the band and devote his life to politics?

…and the Boys take the stage.

If I can hyperventilate a little bit, I’m pretty psyched about hitting 50 comics (although I have quicker-working friends who blew through 50 in a lot less than a year… oh, well).  I took a stroll through the archives this weekend, and it was pretty interesting. A lot of stuff I liked, a couple of things that made me cringe (to me, anyway, it’s really visible where I started using a different scanner/PhotoShop setup and experienced some harsh growing pains as I adapted). I wish I’d done some pacing a little differently, and there were some inking experiments that didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped, but overall I think I’m accomplishing what I set out to accomplish, and if nothing else I think it’s looking better as it goes.

A friend suggested that 50 was a good place to start thinking about a print collection. And I like the idea a lot, although I’d probably have to redo the strips in black and white and reformat a bunch of them since they’re all designed just to scroll down a browser window. So I’m curious: any interest in a print collection, assuming I can keep it cheap?

And finally: the timing on #51 is a  little up in the air, since I’m travelling for most of this week.  Should be up before Thanksgiving, though. Watch the newsblog.